[for betteralready] whispers hello, I miss you quite terribly [1803]

[midship]

This should, objectively, be the best day of his life. Somehow, it isn't.

The HMS Hotspur truly is the most beautiful sloop Horatio has ever laid eyes on. Command of her truly is the pinnacle he's aspired to through all the blood, sweat, and tears of these last long, painful years. By all accounts, taking the deck ought to be a purely blissful thing.

Somehow, Horatio hasn't slept a wink all night. Somehow, even as he pulls on his uniform in the chilly hours of the morning, his stomach is roiling and unquiet. Somehow, for all he ought objectively skipping bodily over the waves, he's practically stumbling by the time he hits the dock and shaking as he bundles into the jolly boat.

He feels dreadful--genuinely dreadful. The rock of the sea under his feet will hardly do much to improve his already quarrelsome stomach.

(More than that, the best day of his life had already come to pass. The best day of his life had been when Archie Kennedy squeezed his hand tight and took a first shaking step from his cot.)

Thank goodness his first lieutenant will be with him in the little skiff. Thank goodness he'll have a chance to begin to collect himself before he has to set foot on the Hotspur's deck.

On his deck.

The joy mixes with nausea again, and Horatio's fingers fumble for the nearest something solid to catch hold of.

Comments

r u d e

[midship]

It isn't fair. It isn't fair when they're clinging close like this. It isn't fair with Archie's breath warm against the shell of his ear and fingers tight in the fabric of his jacket.

"A-Archie."

It isn't at all becoming for his cheeks to be flushed this red.

he just loves :3

[betteralready]

It isn't at all becoming, but it's certainly an attractive thing. It's certainly something that has Archie chuckling warmly and encourages him to pepper a few kisses against Horatio's jaw.

"My apologies, sir," he murmurs, "I should wait until we get a better sense of the lay of the land."

And that's a genuine enough statement as he pulls back just slightly and disentangles one hand to cup at Horatio's blushing cheek.

"I wish we-- could properly celebrate, though."

They already had on land, yes, but this was something else entirely.

so much ;3;

[midship]

"Soon enough, Archie."

They had always been infinitely cautious before. They had always kept themselves mostly stuck to land, to places where they could be properly locked away from the rest of the world. What a thrilling thing it would be, having their own door to close on a ship.

"I promise."

indeed so ;3;

[betteralready]

"Good."

Because that allows him to drop his hands, though he can't help the way they reach to catch at Horatio's, still. That, at least, is slightly more proper than the embrace they'd managed to get themselves tangled up in, in the event they're interrupted.

"God, we've-- really made it, 'ratio."

[midship]

Horatio knows the hands holding his. He knows the smooth skin and the scars; the soft lines and firm callouses. There's nothing in the world so reassuring, he's certain, as having those hands tangled with his.

"Have we?"

There's the tiniest uncertainty in the back of his heart, still. There's the tiniest prick of knowledge that Archie, by rights, ought to be angling for the captaincy he had been handed--and had, in some miracle of devotion, simply followed him instead.

[betteralready]

"Of course we have."

And of course Archie's squeezing his hands with an excited little smile.

"Look at us-- We're the two highest officers on the same ship. So long as we're-- good to the men and in good physical and mental health, no one can-- take that from us. Can take us from one another or-- hurt us without punishment."

It's such a thrilling thought, Archie can't help but lean forward, pressing eager little kisses against Horatio's knuckles to keep himself from moving in completely to kiss him properly.

"And when you're-- made Commodore, you can make me Captain of your flagship, and we'll keep-- following one another up the ranks until we're-- old and grey Admirals that take tea together and complain about these-- young whippersnappers causing a ruckus on the sea. You see? We're-- so much safer, now."

There's still the sea, of course, and the likely impending war, and mutiny and illness and a whole host of other things that could take them from one another, but at least the Navy and higher officers aren't going to be able to steal them away from one another. It's such a blessing.

"'s long as you don't-- throw yourself into danger quite so wholeheartedly we'll-- really have a-- proper chance."

To be together. To be happy.

[midship]

There isn't a thing in the world, Horatio is fairly certain, as stunningly wonderful as seeing Archie Kennedy beam properly from a close distance.

Listening, in this safe quiet space, to the wonderful future Archie sees is a close second all the same. It's certainly painfully overwhelming. It isn't quite enough to keep themselves held back to the safety of kissed fingers. This is a petrifying cliff to leap from, but Horatio has long since learned to leap with barely a second thought.

His lips find Archie's only briefly, only lightly, but with a definite moment of contented presence.

[betteralready]

Archie can't help but lean in again, to chase the kiss. Can't help but kiss Horatio once more, just quickly, his fingers still squeezing tightly at his hands.

Can't help the murmur as he leans back again, reluctant as ever to be parted from him even by this much space, "I love you."

[midship]

They can't steal more than this, for now. They likely won't be able to even walk too close together for a few hours now, after even this brief time locked away together.

It has Horatio dizzy with glee all the same.

"I-- love you, Archie."

[betteralready]

"I know."

He's known for some time now, for all it didn't feel safe to say until recently.

"And we'll-- show it again soon enough."

Not now, unfortunately, but soon.

[midship]

"Soon enough."

Squeezing Archie's hands has a sense of finality to it. Thank goodness it's actually very much a beginning.

"Go. Set the men to gun drills again, will you?"

[betteralready]

"Taskmaster," he tells him with a teasing grin and another quick kiss to Horatio's knuckles before he moves to stand.

"You'll tell me everything I'm-- allowed to know about our mission later?"

Because of course they'll be later. Of course the captain and the first lieutenant are allowed to spend a considerable amount of time together, especially at the beginning of a voyage.

Of course Archie's looking for every excuse to be able to spend that time.

[midship]

"Later."

They'll have to manage their way around their duty, of course. They'll have to find how to balance their roles and their devotion; their need for time as captain and first lieutenant, their ability to take time as lovers.

Now that they're properly here, it feels infinitely possible.