[ It's a rather windy day that finds the two of them this morning. The breeze shuffled through Ain's room and imparted a sufficient chill to wake him up early - unable to fall asleep again, he's headed downstairs to the courtyard and lingers around the fountain. He's elected to tie up his hair using a strip of cloth so that his locks don't fall into disarray by the wind's effects.
Once Horatio comes down, he quickly moves to within speaking distance, a slight undertone of curiosity in his voice ]
I was wondering....... does Rome have a calendar for years?
[Nights have always been bad. It's still possible that nights are beginning to get worse.
In fairness, Horatio does do his utmost to stay settled in his room as long as is humanly possible. He does force himself to lie still, mindful of the admonitions he now regularly received without coffee to best mask his general insomniac cycle. That, as much as anything, makes it feel like he's started the day with a minor victory when padding down the stairs reveals someone else already milling about the courtyard.
Another small victory that it's Ain doing the milling. Another still that the brief friendly quirk of his lips feels almost like a natural thing, and perhaps a third that Ain seems happy enough to meet him half-way.
Best, of course, is the question itself. Horatio needs half a beat to blink the last tendrils of restlessness from his mind, pulling back through to memories of his years as a Grecian.]
It does. Although-- [His brow wrinkles thoughtfully, sorting through the various strands of his lessons.] --it changed a few times, I believe, through from the original Etruscan version.
[ Ain lucked out with the voices that haunt the Chosen this month. All he hears is the faint voice of his creator; and since she cannot possibly be here, he has accepted it as an illusion. In some ways it is no different from the voice of ruin that speaks from the depths of the void, and he's grown familiar with that. A shadow of his curse, the only clear thing amidst a sea of perceptions gone dull.
Since there's much that he still needs to learn about Rome, it's become natural for him to ask those who would entertain his questions. Today's query is one that's weighed on his mind ever since he's begun comparing this world to the one he came from. ]
I see...
[ Evolution. Granted if so many years have passed. Though... ]
I haven't seen a year around. You know... they have calendars outside, I passed one. There's a month and day, but no year.
Not something Horatio felt terribly worried by, for better or worse; being hundreds of years removed from his own sense of reality had decreased the premium on determining exactly when they were. Too many other bits and pieces needed to be picked and sorted through.
It's incredibly strange, though, now that his attention's been called to it.]
[That's more than odd. That's downright incredibly confusing.]
What, not at all?
[The words carry the cadence of a question, but Horatio's gaze is flitting away with a bit of a thoughtful frown to file lightly through his own recollections of the last few weeks. Had there been any dates extending to years? Had there been any notations in the pages he'd been copying from the library? Had there even been much discussion of any events that might give a hint as to precisely when they were?]
Hm.
[By now, Horatio suspects he doesn't really need to fill the silences with Ain. There's something quietly sympathetic that tends to settle into the air while they each fall back on their own quiet processing, most of the time. It's just that this is a terribly confusing fact to be confronted with, and old habits are comforting in the face of new messes.]
[ Not something he's encountered throughout his investigations in Rome, but then again he's hardly looked through any significant portion of it. There is an explanation that he can draw up, though it's not one that will be confirmed even vaguely unless they receive direct affirmation from the gods themselves.
Though, he doesn't seem too bothered about it, despite the empty quality of his countenance. It seems just a fact to him, something to be processed ]
Daily records. [His attention lingers in the middle distance, tracking through the mental map Horatio had been attempting to build of the city beyond the complex.] Publicly maintained.
[Finally his attention comes snapping back to Ain. Eye contact always helps when bobbing one's head in an attempt at giving directions. This time, it's a nod along toward the entrance to the courtyard--with the barest flickering glance spared for Mercury's insula.]
Might have a date, or-- more likely, something telling. A general's name or-- a line of advancement.
[Something that might still ring a bell from an education centuries after the fact.]
[ So, something like calendars. More primitive than the data networks of the Ponggos, comparable to the scribes used by the lizardmen. It would be reasonable to expect something similar to exist here. It's probably an oversight on his part to not notice it, after being so preoccupied with the search for a proper calendar.
But then again, it brings to mind a vision he had glimpsed long ago at night, trapped within the shell of his own spirit form. A sign from the void - it had faded back into the fogginess of a dream, back then. But after being freed from his curse, he's able to remember it more clearly and he can't help but draw some connection. ]
You think this is the same world as the one you came from, just in the past?
[ A confirmatory question, painted with a tilt of his head. ]
[This is a good little hunt to be on first thing in the morning. This is a piece of something larger and infinitely useful, but this is also the sort of thing that might be accomplished in its component piece before the day has grown much older.
They'll peel carefully through the city for a bit. They'll focus on the discrete task of finding the Acta and trying to pinpoint themselves in time. They'll bring that back with them to mull over once it's accomplished.
And, as they walk, they'll apparently mull something broader.] Largely. [Horatio's own head bobbles slightly in further consideration.] The palpable presence of the gods is-- distinct.
[ It puts Ain ill at ease to be idle, so Horatio's suggestion is eagerly taken up with silent assent. Walking, thinking, moving - the more he does, the less he'll have to think about o͔͔̥̯͇t̢͙͚̻h͜e̹r̘͓̣ ̡̼ṯ͉͈h̳̼͙̺̮̩̥i̜̺̫̝̞͢n͏g̗͙s͡ less savoury. ]
I didn't expect them to intervene directly. Or... show their faces, even.
[ He's mentioned the same thing to Daud before. The differences are making him suspect they've landed in another timeline divergence. ]
The ones I've dealt with, they stay in Heaven without looking down.
[Thank goodness there's no need to explain the need to keep moving. Thank goodness for something to do to immediately clear the mind of the night before. ]
I've never been-- entirely certain the ones I've dealt with are real.
[It had been easy enough to believe when he was young, but every passing year had made things a little more difficult. Finch had made things a little more difficult.]
Other than that, it's-- largely what I would have expected.
Part of it, Horatio suspects, must have been the comfort of familiarity. The liburna hadn't exactly been a sloop (or properly at sea), but the reassuring sensation of being more than half-acclimated to something was a wonderful sort of release. Part of it, he also suspects, must have been the oddly cathartic sensation of being relieved of Norrington's expectations. It would been better if he had not been found wanting, but at least some clear marks had been made as to exactly where he stood with the man.
Most of if, however, had simply been Archie.
Watching Archie breathe bled out hurt. Feeling Archie's pulse under his fingers smoothed out his own. Trusting the warmth beside him tugged him down into the heavy sort of sleep which usually only came after being awake for days. The next week had been infinitely easier to bear after the proper night's sleep and the hazy comfort of waking curled against his dearest friend's side.
The second night is solely scientific. The third and fourth nights are controlling for other variables. At some point, it simply begins to feel natural to follow Archie into Mercury's insula at night rather than returning to his own.
Until tonight, anyway. Tonight, Horatio finds himself slowing, fighting the impulse to follow, marshaling himself to turn toward Vulcan rather than nipping along at Archie's heels.]
[ The morning after the sea battle Archie wakes with Horatio Hornblower in his bed and cannot quite believe it.
Then it happens again. And keeps happening. There's something like being back on board the Indy in it, both sharing the space and quiet conversation at the end of a long day.
No entirely the same, though. Men sharing beds wasn't anything to turn a head at, especially in service. One had to make do with what one had and sleep where one could find it. But this wasn't the service, and Horatio certainly had his own bed to make use of any time he liked.
But other than some gentle mingling of hands and the inevitable touching that occurred when sleeping in the same bed, that was it. Archie's insides still fluttered terribly (and for a few nights he'd been unable to sleep for thinking of the weight of Horatio's thigh resting against his) but he likes it. It makes Rome feel like home and makes Archie feel less alone. He likes to think it helps Horatio feel better too.
So we he declares he's for rest and Horatio doesn't fall into step, Archie thinks nothing of it.] Not coming to bed yet?
...no. [It would be such an easy thing to simply follow. It had already become a comforting sort of routine--a small thing that could be safely claimed and cherished without undue fuss.
Until an absent comment had settled like grit into the turning of the gears. Until Horatio had actually thought to glance at the other Chosen whenever he scrambled to fall into step beside his oldest friend.
It had never taken much for his imagination to begin his mind down the path of intense doubt.] I'll--
[There's no conviction in nodding toward his own insula.]
You'll-- [Archie fights to keep his expression neutral as understanding dawns on him, ushering in his old friends confusion and hurt.
Horatio had every right to go to his own rooms, surely.] Oh.
[He attempts to rally, pulling his lips into something akin to a smile. His tone may even approximate joviality, to the unfamiliar eye.] Well. I hope you get a good night's rest.
[Now is the time for him to continue on to bed instead of standing about uselessly. Except he doesn't move.]
[It's almost a smile. It's almost the bright, familiar tone the entire compound is surely quite familiar with by now.
It's just that Horatio had a few years of knowledge to compare this to. (It's also, admittedly, that there had been so many long quiet hours just recently of studying the little ticks and twitches in Archie's features in the close quarters of a single bed. That part doesn't particularly help to consider.)
He hadn't been quite able to take his first step away, but the unhappiness in the other lieutenant roots him fully into place.]
You-- as well. [His cheeks puff slightly, not quite able to wrangle a laugh from anywhere inside.] I imagine it will be easier without me.
[God, it will be miserable without Archie's steady warmth just close enough to touch.]
Easier? I-- perhaps it will be. [Were there signs that Archie has missed? Horatio is too prone to never stating his own feelings, after all. He might have been longing to get back to having his own private space and simply unable to say anything. Archie's been so caught up in himself he might have looked right past it.
The thought of imposing on Horatio while selfishly enjoying his company makes Archie feel sick to his stomach. He turns to go, aware that he's losing the fight over his expression and not wanting Horatio to see it.
But he stops.]
If you've felt-- that is. If I've been-- [he words are hard, but he wont leave this unsaid. He's faced the French, surely he can face Horatio.] Damnit, Horatio. I wish you'd said something sooner.
[This is for the best. This isn't imposing on Archie's kindness, pressing on their friendship until it was sure to give way with a brittle snap. This isn't overstaying his welcome in a port of safety--or becoming too accustomed to a luxury he doesn't quite deserve.
Except that, abruptly, this isn't for the best at all, because Archie is stuck in his turning and speaking with the harshness of the deeply wounded.
The entire point of this terrible exercise is to be seen going their separate ways. Horatio's body acts of its own accord all the same, moving to step past his friend into the slight shadows of the stairs leading up into Mercury's insula. His fingers catch briefly, nervously, passingly at Archie's arm, almost ready to tug but hesitant to demand too much.
This isn't a conversation anyone else needs to be part of. (This is a conversation better suited for the privacy of Archie's room--but it would be so much more painful to be sent away from that haven than from this.)]
[ It takes a moment to realise why Horatio's removed them to this quieter place and again Archie berates himself.
Blast it all. Of course Horatio wouldn't want to air his feelings in public. Lord, he must be the worst friend.]
We're friends, Horatio... but neither of us begrudges a man wanting his own space. Neither of us wants the other to be uncomfortable, surely you know that. [This is 100% what this conversation is about.] I thought you were-- well. Perhaps I should have said something, or at least asked.
[Of course he doesn't begrudge Archie his own space. Of course, now it's been pointed out to him, it's easy to see how terribly greedy he's been since the tumult of the arena.
Horatio's breath comes short as he ducks his head, better able to force words out if he focuses in the middle distance near the other man's knees.]
You shouldn't have to-- ask me to leave, Archie. I should have realized sooner.
[And then Archie wouldn't have to be spluttering through how to express his unhappiness with the situation now.]
There's no need to hide the frown creasing his brow in the half-shadow of the stairs. Horatio still can't quite manage to drag his gaze properly back to Archie's face.]
I am. [The thought comes out impulsively, weighing his head down further from meeting his friend's gaze.] I was.
[And all the terrible pieces of him which didn't deserve Archie's friendship still could be. It was weakness, but there it was.]
But I've-- counsel against my own selfishness now.
[Something close to it, anyway. The arched brows and soft comments hadn't been nearly so direct as to spell out exactly the harm he was surely doing to his friend, but Horatio had always been good at reading in the worst.
Your selfishne-- [The ridiculousness of that sentiment (that Horatio was the selfish one instead of Archie) doesn't have time to be fully processed.]
Counsel?
[It would be good to take a breath, to calm himself enough to have control over his tone. But there's no time. The words come out more accusatory than he'd like.]
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timeasmymeasure
sometime 17th
Date: 2018-11-18 01:04 pm (UTC)Once Horatio comes down, he quickly moves to within speaking distance, a slight undertone of curiosity in his voice ]
I was wondering....... does Rome have a calendar for years?
no subject
Date: 2018-11-18 04:26 pm (UTC)In fairness, Horatio does do his utmost to stay settled in his room as long as is humanly possible. He does force himself to lie still, mindful of the admonitions he now regularly received without coffee to best mask his general insomniac cycle. That, as much as anything, makes it feel like he's started the day with a minor victory when padding down the stairs reveals someone else already milling about the courtyard.
Another small victory that it's Ain doing the milling. Another still that the brief friendly quirk of his lips feels almost like a natural thing, and perhaps a third that Ain seems happy enough to meet him half-way.
Best, of course, is the question itself. Horatio needs half a beat to blink the last tendrils of restlessness from his mind, pulling back through to memories of his years as a Grecian.]
It does. Although-- [His brow wrinkles thoughtfully, sorting through the various strands of his lessons.] --it changed a few times, I believe, through from the original Etruscan version.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-19 03:33 am (UTC)Since there's much that he still needs to learn about Rome, it's become natural for him to ask those who would entertain his questions. Today's query is one that's weighed on his mind ever since he's begun comparing this world to the one he came from. ]
I see...
[ Evolution. Granted if so many years have passed. Though... ]
I haven't seen a year around. You know... they have calendars outside, I passed one. There's a month and day, but no year.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-21 11:54 am (UTC)Not something Horatio felt terribly worried by, for better or worse; being hundreds of years removed from his own sense of reality had decreased the premium on determining exactly when they were. Too many other bits and pieces needed to be picked and sorted through.
It's incredibly strange, though, now that his attention's been called to it.]
...what about on buildings?
no subject
Date: 2018-11-23 06:20 am (UTC)Not either. I tried to ask a native, but they wouldn't tell me....
[ He waits to see if the other man will have some sort of reaction. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-26 01:58 am (UTC)What, not at all?
[The words carry the cadence of a question, but Horatio's gaze is flitting away with a bit of a thoughtful frown to file lightly through his own recollections of the last few weeks. Had there been any dates extending to years? Had there been any notations in the pages he'd been copying from the library? Had there even been much discussion of any events that might give a hint as to precisely when they were?]
Hm.
[By now, Horatio suspects he doesn't really need to fill the silences with Ain. There's something quietly sympathetic that tends to settle into the air while they each fall back on their own quiet processing, most of the time. It's just that this is a terribly confusing fact to be confronted with, and old habits are comforting in the face of new messes.]
We ought to find the Acta.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-26 03:04 pm (UTC)[ Not something he's encountered throughout his investigations in Rome, but then again he's hardly looked through any significant portion of it. There is an explanation that he can draw up, though it's not one that will be confirmed even vaguely unless they receive direct affirmation from the gods themselves.
Though, he doesn't seem too bothered about it, despite the empty quality of his countenance. It seems just a fact to him, something to be processed ]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-27 01:48 am (UTC)[Finally his attention comes snapping back to Ain. Eye contact always helps when bobbing one's head in an attempt at giving directions. This time, it's a nod along toward the entrance to the courtyard--with the barest flickering glance spared for Mercury's insula.]
Might have a date, or-- more likely, something telling. A general's name or-- a line of advancement.
[Something that might still ring a bell from an education centuries after the fact.]
no subject
Date: 2018-11-29 02:37 pm (UTC)But then again, it brings to mind a vision he had glimpsed long ago at night, trapped within the shell of his own spirit form. A sign from the void - it had faded back into the fogginess of a dream, back then. But after being freed from his curse, he's able to remember it more clearly and he can't help but draw some connection. ]
You think this is the same world as the one you came from, just in the past?
[ A confirmatory question, painted with a tilt of his head. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-12-01 05:31 pm (UTC)They'll peel carefully through the city for a bit. They'll focus on the discrete task of finding the Acta and trying to pinpoint themselves in time. They'll bring that back with them to mull over once it's accomplished.
And, as they walk, they'll apparently mull something broader.] Largely. [Horatio's own head bobbles slightly in further consideration.] The palpable presence of the gods is-- distinct.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-02 04:52 am (UTC)I didn't expect them to intervene directly. Or... show their faces, even.
[ He's mentioned the same thing to Daud before. The differences are making him suspect they've landed in another timeline divergence. ]
The ones I've dealt with, they stay in Heaven without looking down.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 02:40 am (UTC)I've never been-- entirely certain the ones I've dealt with are real.
[It had been easy enough to believe when he was young, but every passing year had made things a little more difficult. Finch had made things a little more difficult.]
Other than that, it's-- largely what I would have expected.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-03 02:47 am (UTC)They definitely exist in every world. The difference is in whether they care about mortals.
[ And from the slight whisper of bitterness underlying his voice, it's easy to guess that Ain's perception of that difference is negative. ]
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From:post-game fixes for what ails ya
Date: 2019-03-30 01:06 am (UTC)Part of it, Horatio suspects, must have been the comfort of familiarity. The liburna hadn't exactly been a sloop (or properly at sea), but the reassuring sensation of being more than half-acclimated to something was a wonderful sort of release. Part of it, he also suspects, must have been the oddly cathartic sensation of being relieved of Norrington's expectations. It would been better if he had not been found wanting, but at least some clear marks had been made as to exactly where he stood with the man.
Most of if, however, had simply been Archie.
Watching Archie breathe bled out hurt. Feeling Archie's pulse under his fingers smoothed out his own. Trusting the warmth beside him tugged him down into the heavy sort of sleep which usually only came after being awake for days. The next week had been infinitely easier to bear after the proper night's sleep and the hazy comfort of waking curled against his dearest friend's side.
The second night is solely scientific. The third and fourth nights are controlling for other variables. At some point, it simply begins to feel natural to follow Archie into Mercury's insula at night rather than returning to his own.
Until tonight, anyway. Tonight, Horatio finds himself slowing, fighting the impulse to follow, marshaling himself to turn toward Vulcan rather than nipping along at Archie's heels.]
everything ails me and everything hurts but it's a good hurt
Date: 2019-03-30 01:32 am (UTC)Then it happens again. And keeps happening. There's something like being back on board the Indy in it, both sharing the space and quiet conversation at the end of a long day.
No entirely the same, though. Men sharing beds wasn't anything to turn a head at, especially in service. One had to make do with what one had and sleep where one could find it. But this wasn't the service, and Horatio certainly had his own bed to make use of any time he liked.
But other than some gentle mingling of hands and the inevitable touching that occurred when sleeping in the same bed, that was it. Archie's insides still fluttered terribly (and for a few nights he'd been unable to sleep for thinking of the weight of Horatio's thigh resting against his) but he likes it. It makes Rome feel like home and makes Archie feel less alone. He likes to think it helps Horatio feel better too.
So we he declares he's for rest and Horatio doesn't fall into step, Archie thinks nothing of it.] Not coming to bed yet?
good because it always gets worse before it gets less worse
Date: 2019-03-31 01:55 am (UTC)Until an absent comment had settled like grit into the turning of the gears. Until Horatio had actually thought to glance at the other Chosen whenever he scrambled to fall into step beside his oldest friend.
It had never taken much for his imagination to begin his mind down the path of intense doubt.] I'll--
[There's no conviction in nodding toward his own insula.]
i dream of less worse
Date: 2019-03-31 02:07 am (UTC)Horatio had every right to go to his own rooms, surely.] Oh.
[He attempts to rally, pulling his lips into something akin to a smile. His tone may even approximate joviality, to the unfamiliar eye.] Well. I hope you get a good night's rest.
[Now is the time for him to continue on to bed instead of standing about uselessly. Except he doesn't move.]
they have the technology
Date: 2019-03-31 03:08 am (UTC)It's just that Horatio had a few years of knowledge to compare this to. (It's also, admittedly, that there had been so many long quiet hours just recently of studying the little ticks and twitches in Archie's features in the close quarters of a single bed. That part doesn't particularly help to consider.)
He hadn't been quite able to take his first step away, but the unhappiness in the other lieutenant roots him fully into place.]
You-- as well. [His cheeks puff slightly, not quite able to wrangle a laugh from anywhere inside.] I imagine it will be easier without me.
[God, it will be miserable without Archie's steady warmth just close enough to touch.]
they can rebuild him??
Date: 2019-03-31 03:21 am (UTC)The thought of imposing on Horatio while selfishly enjoying his company makes Archie feel sick to his stomach. He turns to go, aware that he's losing the fight over his expression and not wanting Horatio to see it.
But he stops.]
If you've felt-- that is. If I've been-- [he words are hard, but he wont leave this unsaid. He's faced the French, surely he can face Horatio.] Damnit, Horatio. I wish you'd said something sooner.
the first emotionally honest rn officer??
Date: 2019-03-31 02:47 pm (UTC)Except that, abruptly, this isn't for the best at all, because Archie is stuck in his turning and speaking with the harshness of the deeply wounded.
The entire point of this terrible exercise is to be seen going their separate ways. Horatio's body acts of its own accord all the same, moving to step past his friend into the slight shadows of the stairs leading up into Mercury's insula. His fingers catch briefly, nervously, passingly at Archie's arm, almost ready to tug but hesitant to demand too much.
This isn't a conversation anyone else needs to be part of. (This is a conversation better suited for the privacy of Archie's room--but it would be so much more painful to be sent away from that haven than from this.)]
What-- ought I have said?
impossible!!!!
Date: 2019-04-01 12:30 am (UTC)Blast it all. Of course Horatio wouldn't want to air his feelings in public. Lord, he must be the worst friend.]
We're friends, Horatio... but neither of us begrudges a man wanting his own space. Neither of us wants the other to be uncomfortable, surely you know that. [This is 100% what this conversation is about.] I thought you were-- well. Perhaps I should have said something, or at least asked.
i want to believe
Date: 2019-04-01 01:55 am (UTC)Horatio's breath comes short as he ducks his head, better able to force words out if he focuses in the middle distance near the other man's knees.]
You shouldn't have to-- ask me to leave, Archie. I should have realized sooner.
[And then Archie wouldn't have to be spluttering through how to express his unhappiness with the situation now.]
me tooooo
Date: 2019-04-01 03:20 am (UTC)He looks up sharply.] Ask you to leave?
Horatio. I shouldn't have assumed you were happy sharing my quarters. [And doesn't he feel like a right pillock about it.]
they're already better than they've been so. progress??
Date: 2019-04-01 11:02 am (UTC)There's no need to hide the frown creasing his brow in the half-shadow of the stairs. Horatio still can't quite manage to drag his gaze properly back to Archie's face.]
I am. [The thought comes out impulsively, weighing his head down further from meeting his friend's gaze.] I was.
[And all the terrible pieces of him which didn't deserve Archie's friendship still could be. It was weakness, but there it was.]
But I've-- counsel against my own selfishness now.
[Something close to it, anyway. The arched brows and soft comments hadn't been nearly so direct as to spell out exactly the harm he was surely doing to his friend, but Horatio had always been good at reading in the worst.
(And, admittedly, at missing obvious innuendo.)]
they're expressing emotions????
Date: 2019-04-01 07:24 pm (UTC)Counsel?
[It would be good to take a breath, to calm himself enough to have control over his tone. But there's no time. The words come out more accusatory than he'd like.]
Horatio, who've you been talking to?
how long can they keep this up??
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